The most valuable supply of worthlessness on the web
I just received this picture and accompanying text in an email from my brother:
These men are concreting solid steel pillars to stop vehicles from parking on the pavement outside a sports bar downtown. They are cleaning up at the end of the day.
I don’t know where he got the image, but it is inspiring enough to share.
[tags]Genius, Men at work, Funny[/tags]
OK, this will probably get me an extra week in purgatory, but I found this video too damn funny.
Didn’t that guy deserve a taser shot, though? That’s what I seem to recall from the story.
[tags]Taser, Don’t tase me, YouTube, Stupid[/tags]
I’ve not seen Beowulf yet, but I would like to eventually. So while looking for reviews and bits of info on the movie today, I found this restricted audiences only intarweb trailer for the movie. And this begins my wondering at just how little the motion picture ratings board understand rating motion pictures.
(I have no idea if this video will even work embedded, but I’ll try it)
To watch the video on YouTube, you have to log in and verify your age. I believe it restricts viewers under the age of 18 (at least, for those who tell the truth in verifying their age) from accessing the trailer. But what piques my curiosity is how a trailer, composed of scenes from the movie, could be restricted and require an age check when the movie itself is rated PG-13. Anybody know?
So I start looking, and I find out that I’m not the only one curious about the movie’s rating. Most of the stuff I find, though, is commentary from before the release of the restricted trailer, so not too many people talk about that. One site I found with commentary on this idiocy has a list of a few other movies that are similarly baffling in their ratings and show the politics/idiocy/WTF? nature of the movie ratings board. But hey, if anyone can tell me why 2 hours of semi-realistic animated nudity and extreme violence is appropriate for ages 13 and up but the 2.5 minutes of semi-realistic animated nudity and extreme violence is restricted, I’m all ears.
Oh, and by the way – I have a friend who says every time he sees Angelina Jolie’s face it makes him think of her father, and that pretty much kills her sex-appeal for him. I completely agree with that, but man I could look at her body a long time and totally forget about her face long enough to think inappropriately about Ms. Jolie.
[tags]Beowulf, Angelina Jolie, Boobies, Motion picture ratings[/tags]
If you web surf as much as I do, you’ve probably already seen this – various web sites are saying that Will Smith said Hitler was a good man. And naturally, many people are upset that anyone would claim Hitler was a good man. I guess people are really s000per upset that (*gasp*) a
Here, I’ll help clue you in now that you’ve had a moment to feign indignation: Will Smith didn’t say Hitler was a good man. Let’s look inside and see…
Remarkably, Will believes everyone is basically good.
“Even Hitler didn’t wake up going, ‘let me do the most evil thing I can do today’,” said Will. “I think he woke up in the morning and using a twisted, backwards logic, he set out to do what he thought was ‘good’. Stuff like that just needs reprogramming.
Oh shit! Will Smith just said Hitler used fucked-up logic to convince himself what he was doing was “good” in some way! Expect the world to get in an uproar about something Smith didn’t actually say!!!
So next time, please try to get people to actually read what was said. Sensationalism doesn’t do anything except cause stupidity (yes, even the times I use sensationalistic headlines, it’s really just a seed for stupidity). Thus endeth our lesson in reading comprehension.
All I can figure from this story is this couple has a standard mail-delivery slot in their door, and little Georgi waited there day after day to get a little cat-scratch-postman action going on.
When Sarah and Ben Goddard’s mail delivery dried up to a trickle, the couple smelt a rat.
But Goddards would have been better pointing the finger of suspicion at their pet cat Georgi, after it emerged a succession of attacks by the vicious moggy left the postman too scared to deliver the mail.
. . .
“When I asked if he [the post-man] had anything for us he said he wasn’t delivering to us any more because he had been scratched.
Mystery solved. Except the post-man was worried about being attacked by a dog. Here’s the kicker to me, though. The problem started months ago. After questioning the carrier about their lack of mail just recently:
The next day, the letter from local delivery office manager Steve Brown arrived with backdated mail.
It warned Mrs Goddard and her 27-year-old husband, a land surveyor: “Animal attacks are a major cause of injury to Royal Mail staff.
“I am writing to you to inform you that if your cat is not kept under control then we will be suspending the delivery of mail to your address.”
Nothing like prompt notification of a problem, is there? Although I suppose the above quote could mean that their notification letter was dated sometime in the past, meaning the couple never received it because it was to be delivered via the post-man who wasn’t delivering mail to them. Hmmmmm. Those wacky Brits!
Oh, yeah – one other thing: I’d hit it. (via Fark)
For all of you aware of the RickRoll ‘net meme, here’s an image homage to the man.
I’ll stick with my love of LoL cats and AllUrBase memes instead, thank you very much.
In a move that is claimed to be for performers’ benefits, our Congress-critters have brought to the floors of each of the houses of Congress bills aimed at requiring radio stations to pay music performers who appear live on the stations. Rather than looking at live time on the air as a benefit for the performers, these new bills present such time as a performance for which the artists should be paid. While I agree that this is a performance of sorts, what has happened in the past was artists could get free advertising and promotion by appearing on the air of radio broadcasts. If this bill goes through, radio stations will be penalized for giving artists a chance to get free air time.
Yesterday, Rep. Berman and Sen. Patrick Leahy (D. – Vt.) offered to the floors of their respective houses legislation that would effectively codify the rectification of what Berman has literally characterized as evil: a very slight addition to US law that would enable the Copyright Royalties Board to determine royalties to be paid to a performers’ rights organization, by stations earning more than $1.25 million in annual gross revenue per year.
Stations earning less than that amount would pay a $5,000 annual fee. Public radio stations would pay $1,000 per year, apparently even if they don’t have a contemporary music format. Sen. Orrin Hatch (R – Utah) and Rep. Darrell Issa (R – Calif.) are co-sponsors.
Ahhhh, Orrin Hatch. Here is a critter who apparently never saw a right that couldn’t be wronged with proper legislation. And the clear indication that this bill isn’t truly for the benefit of artists and performers but rather an attempt to shore up the ever-more flaccid recording industry is the note that even stations not playing contemporary music formats will have to pay this. If you are on the air and earn above the cut-off floor of $1.25 million annually, you pay a set fee. Never have a live artist in the station to perform on the air? Pay $5,000 please. Have someone new every morning? Pay $5,000 please.
So, as has happened so many times in the past, some music industry lobbyists walked in House and Senate offices, pulled out their shrinking schlongs, and offered some critters money to suck them off. Happy for funds, the critters did so, and fully satiated they now are working on laws to make sure money keeps flowing to industry execs who will keep paying critters to suck them.
I’m not the only one to see this as a full-on negative move for radio, by the way. A spokesperson for the Free Radio Alliance noted:
“This bill, which was so long in the making, is drafted around exemptions and discounts, and the result is bad public policy,” Rought wrote. “Any fee — regardless of whether it’s discounted, tiered or reduced — will only serve as a foot in the door for the record labels to establish precedent for higher fees down the road. With copyright fees, history is pretty clear: Rates will only continue to go up. If passed, this could threaten the survival of local radio stations, would reduce the quality of their programming and would almost certainly reduce diversity in radio. This flies directly in the face of the goals that Congress and the FCC have set for our airwaves.”
Much like states implementing sales tax, low initial rates are in to make this look palatable and not so dangerous. Once the rates are in and people get used to them, expect them to get jacked up. These bills are set to punish radio stations for providing artists an on-air venue, and are put out at a low enough introduction level to not cause to many complaints. We will have fewer on-air opportunities for artists if these become law, and the prices will go up significantly once the recording industry execs and Congress-critters get the ball rolling.
On the floor of the House yesterday, Rep. Berman responded to that criticism by remarking the legislation would only apply to terrestrial radio. “The bill repeals the current broadcaster exemption,” he said, “but it does not apply to bars, restaurants and other venues, or expand copyright protection in any other way.”
What a load of crap. It’s got to start somewhere, and making big companies like Clear Channel pay first is just a way to get things going. Expect more and more music outlets to get bent over and dry-raped if this goes through.
You’re 50 years old. You’re married to a woman half your age who is a self-described bi-sexual. She looks like this:
For your birthday, she poses in some lesbian pictures which she gives you as a birthday gift. Is the appropriate response:
Pesonally, I’m going for option 1.) for sure, and 3.) if I can get the O.K. However, if instead you are a former Brady star, the real response is 4.) with the inclusion of complaints that the photos are a manifestation of your worst fears and that they creep you out. Since we are not, however, former (nor current nor future) Brady stars, we’ll celebrate this event with another picture of Ms. Curry along with mention that she has since repeated the momentous photo-shoot with another gal-pal for an upcoming issue of Playboy magazine. (via Fark)
[tags]Hot lesbian action, Adrianne Curry, Lesbian, Happy Birthday[/tags]
I’ve recently spent some time reading user reviews of the movie The Golden Compass on Yahoo. I just want to point out to all the people there complaining about the movie that a) you are an idiot if you rate a movie you haven’t even seen just because it has a different message than you feel comfortable hearing/sharing, b) America was most emphatically NOT founded as a Christian nation, and therefore this movie is not anti-America, and c) you should rate the fucking movie, not spew your own god damn beliefs and how they differ from the hidden/obvious/subtle/subliminal/obnoxious message in the movie.
I haven’t seen the movie nor read the book, so I can’t review it. I do plan on seeing the movie, and if I do I will share thoughts if anyone is interested. I happen to believe in a God with a sense of humor, open mind, and interest in people making decisions on their own. Therefore, I’m pretty sure he/she would approve of me watching the movie and deciding on my own whether or not it is a good movie.
[tags]The Golden Compass, Fucking idiots, Learn history[/tags]
While catching up on Andrew’s blog (who, thankfully, is done moving and able to update more regularly again), I read this delightful critique of a new Fischer-Price line of dinosaur toys. You can check out his full write-up (and I recommend you do), but I’m going to snag a few lines from it to use here, because I enjoyed it so much.
Gods, where to start. How about with the little man who comes with Razor™ the T-Rex. That’s right  there’s a caveman-like guy who comes with the toy, complete with saddle and… and… clubs. But not any ordinary clubs. One is a skull and backbone of some undefined creature and the other is a lobster.
Yes, caveman guy uses a lobster as a weapon.
I think my son plays a game of imagination in which dinosaurs and cavemen co-exist, but a) he knows that dinosaurs and people are actually from different time periods and b) he never involved the lobster-as-club genre of play in to it. Personally, I suggest Fischer-Price commit fully to their things-aren’t-like-this-but-we-make-shit-up toy building style and give the cavemen frikkin’ sharks with frikkin’ lasers on their frikkin’ heads (speaking of which, I’m long past due a good laser article – I’ll work on that in the coming week). And ninjas. A caveman using a ninja as a club would be awesome, don’t you think?
On the back of the box are pictures of the other toys in the set: the Predators (T-Rex, allosaurus, anklosaurus, etc.) and the “Ecovores” (brontosaurus, triceratops, etc.).
Yup. The herbiivores are now ecovores. This is probably an Al Gore and Sheryl Crow approved renaming. It’s all the fault of those damned meat-eaters that the planet overheated, if I’m to buy in to the implied message there. I just wonder where the omnivores fit in – they want to eat the herbivores, but also fight global warming and genocide. Man, what’s a poor “I-eat-everything-but-am-plushie-and-lovable” dinosaur to do? Other than run for President.
Andrews comments are far more interesting than mine, and the full article is humorous and sad at the same time. So get to Andrew’s site and read about the spiffing up of dinosaur history.
[tags]Andrew, Kantor, Ecovores, Dinosaurs[/tags]
Recently, my wife went on a trip and chose the old standard air-travel for getting where she was going. On the way to her destination, she had to throw away her yogurt she had brought to eat while waiting for the plane. On her way home, she had to throw away her 8-ounce toothpaste that she didn’t realize she’d left in her carry-on bag. Now I understand that she screwed up in both cases because it’s well known by now to any traveler that these things cannot be taken through security.
However, the rules are still idiotic and worthless, and we can do so much better with security by spending money on things that actually help – things like, oh, I don’t know, training screeners better so they don’t miss nearly 100% of all explosives taken through security by people trying to get prohibited items through security.
Government investigators smuggled liquid explosives and detonators past airport security, exposing a dangerous hole in the nation’s ability to keep these forbidden items off of airplanes, according to a report made public Wednesday.
. . .
On March 23, a TSA screener would not let one investigator through a checkpoint with a small, unlabeled bottle of shampoo, even though it was a legitimate carry-on item. But the same investigator was able to bring through a liquid component of bomb that would start a fire.
Thank goodness that investigator wouldn’t be able to terrorize the plane with clean hair and bubbles. That’s a much greater concern than liquid fire. The TSA hand-waves away the problem by emphasizing the multi-layer approach to security in airports and air travel.
“While people think about us in terms of the checkpoints and they see us as the checkpoints, there’s a lot more layers of security,” she [spokeswoman Ellen Howe] said. In addition to the checkpoints, the TSA uses different technologies and has officials who check the validity of documents and observe people’s behaviors throughout the airport. “Just because somebody gets through one layer doesn’t mean they’re going to get through all of the layers.”
And that’s actually damn good to know and comforting. But our money needs pumped into the less visible security measures. Currently, to get through with contraband a determined attacker needs training on not sticking out more than anything else. That alone will make passing through screening nearly guaranteed, yet so much money is going into screening efforts that have repeatedly been proven ineffective (I’ve covered some, but by no means all, such issues in the past, and won’t link them again here).
Here, I’ll throw in a freebie for would-be attackers. If you want to carry in prohibited liquids, buy yourself a beer belly flask to transport your explosives or drinks. As it is right now, screeners are miserable at catching illicit items which someone is trying to take on, but nearly perfect in catching harmless things like the drinks people are consuming as they walk through the screening checkpoints (hint: if they are actively drinking it, it is either harmless to the flight or they already have ingested what they need to use to bring the flight down).
From the screeners link just above, here is what Bruce Schneier has to say.
When I travel in Europe, I never have to take my laptop out of its case or my shoes off my feet. Those governments have had far more experience with terrorism than the U.S. government, and they know when passenger screening has reached the point of diminishing returns. (They also implemented checked-baggage security measures decades before the United States did — again recognizing the real threat.)
And if I were investing in security, I would invest in intelligence and investigation. The best time to combat terrorism is before the terrorist tries to get on an airplane. The best countermeasures
have value regardless of the nature of the terrorist plot or the particular terrorist target. In some ways, if we’re relying on airport screeners to prevent terrorism, it’s already too late. After all, we can’t keep weapons out of prisons. How can we ever hope to keep them out of airports?
Far more insightful and accurate than all the words I’ve thrown out arguing against the money-drain our government has in place now.
EDIT: Accidentally left out part of the Schneier quote.
[tags]Airport stupidity, Air travel, Getting explosives on planes[/tags]
Idiocy at work:
[tags]Rocket boom, Stupid, Idiot[/tags]