Month: December 2006

Like Chuck, it brings t3h pain

pain-gun.jpgDeveloped in secret for 10 years, announced in 2001, and secretly tested so we don’t really know how non-lethal it is, here comes the pain gun. Or, as we like to think of it in the Blahg-o-bunker “t3H Pa1n gunz0r!!!1!”

The crowd is getting ugly. Soldiers roll up in a Hummer. Suddenly, the whole right half of your body is screaming in agony. You feel like you’ve been dipped in molten lava. You almost faint from shock and pain, but instead you stumble backwards — and then start running. To your surprise, everyone else is running too. In a few seconds, the street is completely empty.

You’ve just been hit with a new nonlethal weapon that has been certified for use in Iraq — even though critics argue there may be unforeseen effects.

Personally, I’m all for trying this thing out (on bad guys, not myself). I’m one of those soft-hearted people who prefers breaking up minor uprisings without mass elimination of life. Of course, when serious conflict arises, I’m all for havy doses of lethal retaliation, but “t3H Pa1n gunz0r!!!1!” sounds perfect for those instances when less than massive response will do. (via Engadget)


[tags]The pain gun, Non-lethel crowd control, t3H Pa1n gunz0r!!!1![/tags]

Israeli military: D&D = t3H weak-willed

I thought this kind of thinking went out of fashion 15 or 20 years back, but apparently the uppity-ups at the top of the Israeli Defense Forces think fantasy gamers are automatically suspect for security clearance.

Does the Israel Defense Forces believe incoming recruits and soldiers who play Dungeons and Dragons are unfit for elite units? Ynet has learned that 18-year-olds who tell recruiters they play the popular fantasy game are automatically given low security clearance.

“They’re detached from reality and suscepitble to influence,” the army says.

Although that is annoying, I must say that looks like a way to reduce your risk in the military. After all, who wants to send a security risk out on the dangerous missions? On the other hand, I guess the folks who don’t want to risk losing a soldier with high security clearance might see the weak-willed gamer losers (like me) as more disposable. Hmmmmm. Impass. Never mind.

[tags]Israeli military is anti-D&D[/tags]

Satan is after your children

This is really stupid. You don’t want to read it. I’m writing this completely for my own entertainment. It’s really stupid, even given my low standards on t3H Blahg.

Back in 1971, Pastor Jack Hyles laid down this exceptionally important message concerning the welfare of your children. Satan is assualting our culture’s values by starting at the root of our future – the children. Ohhhhh, won’t someone PLEASE think of the children?

Pastor Hyles got really upset after seeing how schools were corrupting our children. Someone, perhaps one of his delicate flock, had her delicate sensibilities affronted when she visited one of the local public schools.

Continue reading “Satan is after your children”

I thought “No!!!” was the key

med_sex_facts.jpgAccording to the January 1959 issue of Sexology magazine (sadly, no longer published – I learned of it from the always wonderful Modern Mechanix blog), the key to a mutually happy marriage is The Illustrated Encyclopedia of Sex. Thankfully, you can order it from the fine folks at Cadillac Publishing Company in New York.

Here are some of the things you can learn from this book, along with my guesses for the answers:

The climax in women

Typical male: They can do that?

The sex drive in women

Moderate to high when single. Non-existant after marriage.

Frigidity, its cause and cure

Continue reading “I thought “No!!!” was the key”

Survey says…

Condoms designed to meet international size specifications are too big for many Indian men as their penises fall short of what manufacturers had anticipated, an Indian study has found.

The Indian Council of Medical Research, a leading state-run center, said its initial findings from a two-year study showed 60 percent of men in the financial capital Mumbai had penises about 1 inch shorter than those condoms catered for.

. . .

“One of the reasons for a failure of up to 20 percent (of condoms) is the association of the size of the condom to the erect penis,” the council’s Dr. Chander Puri told Reuters, adding another reason was couples often put them on in a hurry.

Sometimes, the news you have to pass on just needs no introductions, does it? I think Bill gets the reason right, too:

Listen, I totally know how that happened. “Manufacturers” just took a survey of men in India and asked them how large their penises were.

[tags]Indian men can’t fill their condoms[/tags]