Be an expert on anything

This recent article is a guide from (Dr.) Stephen Colbert on how to be an expert on anything.  Mainly, the way to be recognized as an expert is to assert that you are an expert.  Here’s a few tips.

PICK A FIELD THAT CAN’T BE VERIFIED. Try something like string theory or God’s will: “I speak to God. I’m sorry that you can’t also.” Security experts are in this category: They have security clearances, we don’t. We can’t question the expertise of the NSA because we are not in the NSA.

I’ve worked in security.  So I have a leg up on most folks, I guess.

CHOOSE A SUBJECT THAT’S ACTUALLY SECRET. Dan Brown invented a secret subject for The Da Vinci Code, so now he is forever an expert on this secret subject that no one can challenge. Anybody who attacks the secret subject is, by definition, part of the cabal.

Even better.  I’m not sure what I can pick, but I’ll make a note here when I choose my secret specialty.

SPEAK FROM THE BALLS, NOT FROM THE DIAPHRAGM. In the expert game, you’ve got to have sack. That means speaking with confidence. In America, you’ve got to steer clear of nuance and ambivalence – and don’t even contemplate doubt.

DON’T BE AFRAID TO MAKE THINGS UP. Never fear being exposed as a fraud. Experts make things up all the time. They’re qualified to.

There are more tips in the article.  So go learn how to be an expert.

[tags]Be an expert on anything, Stephen Colbert[/tags]