Today, we have a headline winnar!!!

Great commentary by a man caught driving drunk on the way to his hearing for previously driving drunk:

HARRISBURG, Pa. (AP) – HARRISBURG – A man charged with drunken driving on the way to a drunken driving hearing said he probably will have to quit drinking.

I’d say there’s a 70%, maybe 75% chance he’s right.

[tags]Dumb criminal news, Man driving drunk to hearing for previously driving drunk[/tags]

Talk time at the democratic debate

The Chris Dodd Presidential campaign web site has an interesting chart of candidate talk times at the latest Democratic debate.

dem-debate-talkchart.png

I’m not really surprised by who has the most talk time, but I do plan on learning a little more about the candidates with the least talk time since I know so little about them right now. (via Victoria Kos)

[tags]Democratic candidates’ talk times at debate[/tags]

I smells a h0axor!

Since I’m enjoying the whole LOLcat phenomenon so much, I feel obligated to point out the origins of LOLcat, as told by Ape Lad.

bb-lolcat_origin.jpg

Not many people know this, but my great grandfather Aloysius “Gorilla” Koford, was also a cartoonist. From 1912-1913 he produced a comic strip which was featured in 17 newspapers, including the Philadephia Star-Democrat, the Tampa Telegraph, and the Santa Fe Good-Newser.

The strip was entitled “the Laugh-Out-Loud Cats” and featured the exploits of one Meowlin Q. Kitteh (a sort of cat hobo-raconteur) and his young hapless kitten friend, Pip. The strip did not last long due to a run-in my great-grandfather had with none other than William Randolph Hearst.

I believe this is one of the finest secondary effects of an interpipe meme, and hope others jump on the bandwagon. (via boingboing, which links to additional origins stories)

[tags]The origin of LOLcats, LOLcats can has beginning here?[/tags]

iPhone gets official release date

engadget_iphone-june-29th.jpgIn case you haven’t been keeping up, on June 29th you can get your iPhone, provided you don’t mind getting stuck with a 2 year contract on a version 1.0 $600 cell phone. Hey, I’ll admit I could be wrong about how well this product will perform in the market, but to exceed my expectations, I think the market will need to be filled with idiots or folks with too much money for their own good.

During an onscreen demonstration of the iPhone in Apple’s sprawling retail store here recently, an employee, clad in a black T-shirt, of course, surprised a potential customer.

Nonplused, the customer stammered, “You mean it’s a cellphone, too?”

Hmmmmmm. My idiots prediction might just be what Jobs is counting on for high market penetration. I guess I could just be wrong due to the cult of Apple that keeps growing. Oh, yeah, there’s also this:

Most analysts believe that Apple will easily exceed its initial goal of selling 10 million phones by the end of next year.

“It will be just 1 percent of the handset market,” said Jagdish Rebello, director of wireless communications research at iSuppli, a market research firm based in El Segundo, Calif. “But it is essentially shifting the balance of power into the hands of the mobile device manufacturers.”

That has a high probability for proving my prediction wrong, too. I could have sworn I read that Jobs was aiming for 10% of the market. Well, I may turn out to be the idiot here – 1% is too easy given the hype surrounding this.

[tags]Official iPhone launch date[/tags]

More work by the Bush administration to protect Americans


The Bush administration said Tuesday it will fight to keep meatpackers from testing all their animals for mad cow disease.

The Agriculture Department tests fewer than 1 percent of slaughtered cows for the disease, which can be fatal to humans who eat tainted beef. A beef producer in the western state of Kansas, Creekstone Farms Premium Beef, wants to test all of its cows.

Thank goodness we’ve got government leaders who will allow the industry self-regulation they’ve long called suggested is best for us. Or, and this is just a theory I and other folks have (and hey, we might all just be deluded conspiracy theorists, so consider that before believing this suggestion), it might be government protecting big business to the detriment of citizens and small business alike.

A federal judge ruled in March that such tests must be allowed. The ruling was to take effect June 1, but the Agriculture Department said Tuesday it would appeal – effectively delaying the testing until the court challenge plays out.

. . .

The Agriculture Department argued that widespread testing could lead to a false positive that would harm the meat industry. U.S. District Judge James Robertson noted that Creekstone sought to use the same test the government relies on and said the government didn’t have the authority to restrict it.

I’m not saying I buy the Agriculture Department argument, but felt it should be pointed out for those that do believe it.

[tags]Bush administration opposed to comprehensive mad cow testing[/tags]

WTF? Bad karaoke gets man shot

If you can’t sing, here’s an anecdote which suggests you shouldn’t sing videoke in public.

For singing out of tune, a jobless man was shot dead by a security guard of a videoke bar at the height of an argument in San Mateo, Rizal Tuesday night.

The victim, Romy Baligula, 29, was shot in the chest and was pronounced dead on arrival in a local hospital.

. . .

When Baligula started to sing, Ortega even danced to the tune. But when the song progressed, the suspect reportedly commented that the victim was out of tune, triggering a verbal tussle.

So, um, don’t sing if you can’t. Some people just lack the willpower to be non-violent critics.

[tags]Bad karaoke results in dead singer[/tags]