If you love your children, you’ll get them proper protection

As a full-fledged member of the tinfoil hat self-protection society (note: I am not aware of an actual society with this name, merely making something up to promote the effectiveness of this post), I realize the importance of protecting not only my own brain from s00000per-sekrit thought-penetrating waves, but also that of my unborn child (note: I am not actually capable of carrying my unborn child, nor am I aware of any unborn children I might have in the future that would currently need protection).  While I can (and most certainly do) wear a tinfoil hat for my own protection, I’ve always wondered what I could do to protect my child properly.  Now, thanks to the brilliant minds at MummyWraps, I have a way to prevent my child’s corruption from evil-doers who would seek to infiltrate his thoughts with bad things.

From conception to birth, your baby undergoes the most rapid growth of its life, with incredibly fast cell-division taking your precious one from a single fertilised ovum to a beautiful baby in just 9 short months. However, such incredibly rapid growth also carries with it great risk of cell mutations that could cause major medical problems or even miscarriage.

Electro-Smog, or Electro-Magnetic Radiation (EMR) as it is more commonly known, is a complex and pervasive energy field radiating from both natural sources and from man-made electrical and electronic systems. EMR sources include cosmic rays, x-rays, radar, microwaves, TV and radio stations, cellphones, and all other wireless communication systems. International research has shown that prolonged exposure to EMR can be detrimental to human health, particularly that of unborn children.

Oh.  Well.  So they say they are protecting from stray electric and magnetic pollution.  I still think it’s a front for s000per-sekrit thought penetration electro-waves brain penetration protection.  And for $70, you can’t pass up that kind of safety.  (via Futurismic)

[tags]Tin-foil, s00per-sekrit, tinfoil hat, Brain protection, Thought waves[/tags]