Games you just don’t want to hear are in development

As a hardcore gamer, there are some things you just don’t want to hear in reference to games. Anything referring to Barbie is bad. Barbie and Horse appearing in the title is much worse, because you know only one way that could be a good game, yet you also know there is no way Barbie would be in a bestiality pr0n game. Though Mary Kate and Ashley are hotties, seeing their name on any game is a sure sign you’d want to pass it by. But we’ve got a couple of new entries into the games-you-never-want-to-see-developed category.

Did you know there’s actually a Barbie MMO? is the kinda thing that makes hardcore gamers groan, but there is — a pink-festooned, dolls-getting-manicured, ‘tween girl-focused MMO, and moreover, it’s ridiculously popular. In its first 60 days, it signed up three million users. Now it’s up to four million — that’s half of what Second Life has drummed up in its entire lifespan — and growing at a rate of 4500 a day.

. . .

Not to be left out of the competition, the freaky skank dolls of Bratz are getting in on the action with, another ‘tween girls’ virtual world with a real-world component — you buy a $29.99 Bratz doll-slash-USB key, and it comes with some pink computer peripherals (a mouse and pad) that look like Japanese sex toys.

Please – if you ever hear that I’m playing these games in any serious manner, just shoot me. Neither Barbie nor Bratz should ever exist in a game title that references MMOs.  (via Kotaku)

[tags]Barbie, Bratz, beastiality, horses, MMOs, gaming[/tags]