Lasers are old, you know?

I’m not really sure when the brilliant hybrid of frikkin’ sharks and laser-beams came about, but it’s pretty clear from this 1963 article on cutting wood with a beam of light that the frikkin’ sharks didn’t yet have frikkin’ laser-beams on their frikkin’ heads – at least, not in popular culture. There was probably an underground cult-like movement with such creatures. I envision them hosting frikkin’ shark fights in frikkin’ pools in frikkin’ secret underground cabins. All before Michael Vick was even born, most likely.

mm-med_laser_cut_wood.jpgA new technique in woodworking may be on the way. The University of Michigan has developed a tool that cuts through maple and other hardwoods with bursts of light that act like the science-fiction writers’ disintegrating-ray gun. The experimental drill operates with a laser (light amplification by stimulated electron radiation) head that contains a coiled xenon flash tube and a ruby rod. It builds up intensely hot light pulses, focuses them through a lens to vaporize a hole in a block of wood instantly without leaving char. It’s not ready yet for the home workshop.

I have a theory, in fact, that the young man pictured there is the inventor of the frikkin’ shark/laser hybrid, although I haven’t worked out all the details yet.

[tags]Sharks, laser-beams, cutting wood, wood, laser, frikkin’, Modern Mechanix[/tags]

2 thoughts on “Lasers are old, you know?”

  1. I didn’t know that laser actually stood for Light Amplification by Stimulated Electron Radiation! That’s frikkin’ crazy! That’s information I need to know! Throw me a bone here!

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